11 Signs You've, At Some Point, Given Birth To (Or Adopted) Another Human Being

11 Signs You've, At Some Point, Given Birth To (Or Adopted) Another Human Being Wednesday, September 12 2012

Photo by Denny Culbert

11. You can wipe a shitty ass mid-meal and go back to your pork chop and salad completely unaffected and not grossed out.

10. You make phone calls in the bathroom frequently.

9. You start sounding like your own mom, or worse...your dad.

8. There's a garbage bag full of outgrown kids' clothes that's been making quite a home for itself in the trunk of your minivan.

7. You haven’t seen the end of a movie in 4 years.

6. Going to ''work'' is a break.

5. The soundtrack of your life features the Spongebob Square Pants, Go, Diego, Go and iCarly theme songs.

4. Your favorite game is the Who Can Stay The Quietest game.

3. You've done every possible thing you'd swear you'd never do...like.....bringing your kids to McDonald's...often...and saying stuff like, ''Because I said so!''.

2. You shed tears of happiness when the babysitter walks through the door.

1. You've finally come to the realization that you will never ever sleep soundly again (not counting that Black Joe Lewis night...after way to many Sailor Jerry & G2 shots!)